40's, what's your thought?

This past few month's I have tried to put my efforts into healing the loss of my Daddy by gaining strength and knowledge of myself both physically and mentally. I have honestly tried to slow myself down in order to learn more about myself. I am constantly going as most Women today are. Work, the boy's, pet's, my wonderful Charles, taking care of a home and lawn, and of course my never ending desire to change decor and think up new idea's. As I have left my 30's and am into the 40's I find myself looking at everything at different angles. Is it really that important? Can it wait? Will it make a difference? Is it positive or negative? Do I really need it? (That's a hard one), How will it affect my boy's and myself. Yes, I think of all of this at once ha ha. I remember in my 20's and 30's hearing Women speak of all the downsides of being over 40. I dreaded the day I faced it. I never heard anything good. Well I am here to share a few good things......

I am finding in my 40's that all is good most day's. I feel blessed to be where I am in life, and feel the way I do. I have worked to be stronger and healthier everyday.
So here are the Positives I have perceived.....

We are generous with praise.
We procrastinate less.
We are dignified, seldom scream, usually only a glare is given if deserved ha ha
We are forthright and honest, we don't hold back.
We embrace and are comfortable with solitude.
We have confidence, and get things done.
We take and OWN responsibility.
We are Psychic, we know what your thinking. REALLY.
We are sexy and comfortable with ourselves, the need to impress is not a concern.
We are smart and good at what we do.
We take no crap.
We love God and honor his word.
We know that true knowledge is learned from other women both young and old.
We are devoted to those we love.
We love Nap's, and now realize, heck yeah we deserve one!
I am curious to know what you have learned in your 40's? Tips for staying healthy, happy, and active. Let's hear it ladies.

Polish recipes: Golabki (golumpki, gwumpki)

Polish recipes: Golabki (golumpki, gwumpki)

Yes i do!!!!!!

“I REALLY want to win a free photoshoot with Shay Cochrane Photography http://www.shaycochrane.com”

Father's Day is Near

This is the first Father's day without Daddy. I dread the day. I don't want to see any card's, balloon's, or mention of it. It will never be the same. I feel many mixed emotions, some in fact cannot be expressed. All I know for certain is, it will be a hard day. Grief is a scary journey that cannot be taught, or even understood. Sometimes feelings and thoughts occur without warning leaving you with question's on how you will get through them. I Thank God for those that know how fragile my heart has been, and I apologize to those who have witnessed my weakness.


I have found myself treasuring any item of daddy's. The memories are always there, but having something of his close brings me comfort and healing. I was cleaning my closet the other day and came across the Va tech jacket he always wore. As I quickly pulled it out, I became angry with myself. Why had I washed it? I remember the day vividly....Daddy was admitted to the Hospital and would be going home the next day. I grabbed up his clothes and jacket, wanting them to be clean and fresh when he left. He fussed at me saying " you don't need to wash those, they will be fine". Looking back, I wished I had listened.


I wanted to have his smell to hold onto. Sound's silly I'm sure but it's how I felt. I just wanted him near me.

Although this upcoming Father's Day I will in someways feel Fatherless because his physical presence is not here, my day will be full of special memories in my mind, for he is with HIS Father in Heaven at peace.



Psalm 68:5 A Father of the Fatherless, and a judge of the Widow's, is God in his holy habitation.

Seasons.......

Lately I have felt God's presence stronger then ever. He know's when I need his grace and comfort more then ever. It seems some day's are great and other's are full of emotion and thoughts. I mostly think of Daddy. I still can't believe he is not here with us. I constantly wonder if he See's us and if he knows how much he is missed.


I do know there is a power much stronger then my own and all that is around us didn't " just happen ". Spring is here, all is in bloom. The dead are being replaced with life, color and bloom. Working in my yard I started thinking.......All of these plants and flowers, they appear to die or "go to sleep" for a season. When the timing is perfect and the season has arrived they all raise up, bloom, are renewed, strengthened, and full of bloom and fragrance


To me I see this as Hope and promise. I feel one day when the season is right, all will be healed, renewed, fresh, and strengthened and will rise. Although we all have loved ones that are gone and no longer physically with us, this Spring season has shown me they truly are not gone, but resting, waiting, for the right Season when all will be awakened and we will be reunited in God's right timing. The beauty around us is truly amazing. Take time to enjoy what is new and have faith and promise that one day all will be renewed.

Birthday wishes sent to Heaven

It's your first Birthday in Heaven

how happy you must be

your body is now healed and your spirit is free

Present's I send you

will be absent in sight

I miss you Daddy, I miss your delight

Heaven is happy

the party begin's

They celebrate your life

and all that's within

Never forgotten and always

the same, the love from your heart will alway's remain

Today we all think of you

love you

celebrate you

honor you....Alway's

The First Day of Spring.....what does it mean for you?

I haven't written in my blog for a while, unsure why. I don't like writing about just anything, but prefer a certain thought, topic or feeling. The truth is I haven't had much of any. I find myself constantly thinking of Daddy. Flipping through the calender today I was hit with the bold letters on March 20th. It reads " Daddy's Birthday". His Birthday fall's on the first day of Spring when all is suppose to be fresh, new, and beautiful. It doesn't feel that way for me. I am dreading his first Birthday in Heaven. He always loved Birthdays, holiday's, or any day there was a fuss over him with presents. All these " firsts " are hard to endure. His Birthday will be celebrated in a different way this year, but it will be celebrated and remembered. I pray everyday that the "second" and following year's will become easier to handle. People have told me they have vivid dreams of loved ones lost. Why don't I have any? Will I ever? Just a simple dream would at least give me a simple sense of his presence. I miss that so much. I know my Mom, Brother and Sister feel the same pain I do. Although I hate them hurting, it brings me a sense of relief that someone knows what I am feeling, even if in a different way. I will welcome Spring with enthusiasm, enjoying all the beauty it brings both in physical beauty and warmth, but most importantly everlasting memories.