The Best Thing's in Life are The Unexpected.

Nearly all the best things that came to me in life have been unexpected, unplanned by me.
It hit me the other day about how most if not all of my day is expected. I have a certian time to wake up,start work, people I see, meals I eat, places I go, the drive home, the time I fix dinner, tv shows I watch,the list goes on and on........

Think for a moment.......... Do you want to live your life secure in the expected OR live for the thrill and excitement of the unexpected ?

~ Your expected due date for your baby

~ The expected company coming

~ The expected weather due to arrive

~ The expected baby boy or girl on the ultrasound

~ The expected bad day

The unexpected can be so appealing....

~ The beautiful baby that came unexpectedly a week early

~ The surprise visit by friends on a boring day at home unexpectedly......with a clean house of course haha

~ Waking to a unexpected beautiful snow, and school is closed, ahhhh

~ The unexpected look on a Mom's face when she hears " It's a Girl" and she was told she was having her third Boy.

~ A day receiving a surprise bouquet unexpectantly

This year I am looking and waiting for the unexpected. I know there will be many. I pray they will be positive ones. When unexpected things happen there is a certain renewal in our world. We see things are not always percieved and planned as we think they are to be.

I also plan to do some unexpected things for the people that I love the most in my life AND those that are complete strangers. This will do much more for me then for them. Be different, do THE UNEXPECTED :)

Fast approaching

I haven't felt like blogging for awhile. I'm thinking because it will force me to face what's soon approaching and in some way's have been trying to avoid it. I am emotional and know I can only delay it for so long. Daddy will have left us 1 year ago Nov. 15th. I still don't think I have accepted he is gone. Do I have to? Is it unrealistic to believe that there is no way that he could no longer be here?
The pain is as real and as intense as that November 15th day. I question why we must be forced to feel such pain and sorrow?
I think what get's to me the most is the extreme void. Just emptiness and the strong sense that there is a section of our lives thats missing. I struggle everyday to fill it somehow. I cant seem to conquer that.

Some observation's that have I learned this last year?

1. To appreciate my life...as imperfect as it is.

2. To accept imperfection's and dissappointment. Nothing and no one is perfect.

3. Alway's work hard, and realize you will never get ahead of your to do list.

4. See the beauty in thing's that are free.

5. ALWAY's PRAY, even when they don't seem to be answered.

6. Take time to remember. Think of the past, treasure it.

7. Realize it all doesn't have to be done today.

8. Love and be Loved like never before.

9. Stretch beyond your boundries.

10. Reach out and recieve. Give and expect nothing.

40's, what's your thought?

This past few month's I have tried to put my efforts into healing the loss of my Daddy by gaining strength and knowledge of myself both physically and mentally. I have honestly tried to slow myself down in order to learn more about myself. I am constantly going as most Women today are. Work, the boy's, pet's, my wonderful Charles, taking care of a home and lawn, and of course my never ending desire to change decor and think up new idea's. As I have left my 30's and am into the 40's I find myself looking at everything at different angles. Is it really that important? Can it wait? Will it make a difference? Is it positive or negative? Do I really need it? (That's a hard one), How will it affect my boy's and myself. Yes, I think of all of this at once ha ha. I remember in my 20's and 30's hearing Women speak of all the downsides of being over 40. I dreaded the day I faced it. I never heard anything good. Well I am here to share a few good things......

I am finding in my 40's that all is good most day's. I feel blessed to be where I am in life, and feel the way I do. I have worked to be stronger and healthier everyday.
So here are the Positives I have perceived.....

We are generous with praise.
We procrastinate less.
We are dignified, seldom scream, usually only a glare is given if deserved ha ha
We are forthright and honest, we don't hold back.
We embrace and are comfortable with solitude.
We have confidence, and get things done.
We take and OWN responsibility.
We are Psychic, we know what your thinking. REALLY.
We are sexy and comfortable with ourselves, the need to impress is not a concern.
We are smart and good at what we do.
We take no crap.
We love God and honor his word.
We know that true knowledge is learned from other women both young and old.
We are devoted to those we love.
We love Nap's, and now realize, heck yeah we deserve one!
I am curious to know what you have learned in your 40's? Tips for staying healthy, happy, and active. Let's hear it ladies.

Polish recipes: Golabki (golumpki, gwumpki)

Polish recipes: Golabki (golumpki, gwumpki)

Yes i do!!!!!!

“I REALLY want to win a free photoshoot with Shay Cochrane Photography http://www.shaycochrane.com”

Father's Day is Near

This is the first Father's day without Daddy. I dread the day. I don't want to see any card's, balloon's, or mention of it. It will never be the same. I feel many mixed emotions, some in fact cannot be expressed. All I know for certain is, it will be a hard day. Grief is a scary journey that cannot be taught, or even understood. Sometimes feelings and thoughts occur without warning leaving you with question's on how you will get through them. I Thank God for those that know how fragile my heart has been, and I apologize to those who have witnessed my weakness.


I have found myself treasuring any item of daddy's. The memories are always there, but having something of his close brings me comfort and healing. I was cleaning my closet the other day and came across the Va tech jacket he always wore. As I quickly pulled it out, I became angry with myself. Why had I washed it? I remember the day vividly....Daddy was admitted to the Hospital and would be going home the next day. I grabbed up his clothes and jacket, wanting them to be clean and fresh when he left. He fussed at me saying " you don't need to wash those, they will be fine". Looking back, I wished I had listened.


I wanted to have his smell to hold onto. Sound's silly I'm sure but it's how I felt. I just wanted him near me.

Although this upcoming Father's Day I will in someways feel Fatherless because his physical presence is not here, my day will be full of special memories in my mind, for he is with HIS Father in Heaven at peace.



Psalm 68:5 A Father of the Fatherless, and a judge of the Widow's, is God in his holy habitation.

Seasons.......

Lately I have felt God's presence stronger then ever. He know's when I need his grace and comfort more then ever. It seems some day's are great and other's are full of emotion and thoughts. I mostly think of Daddy. I still can't believe he is not here with us. I constantly wonder if he See's us and if he knows how much he is missed.


I do know there is a power much stronger then my own and all that is around us didn't " just happen ". Spring is here, all is in bloom. The dead are being replaced with life, color and bloom. Working in my yard I started thinking.......All of these plants and flowers, they appear to die or "go to sleep" for a season. When the timing is perfect and the season has arrived they all raise up, bloom, are renewed, strengthened, and full of bloom and fragrance


To me I see this as Hope and promise. I feel one day when the season is right, all will be healed, renewed, fresh, and strengthened and will rise. Although we all have loved ones that are gone and no longer physically with us, this Spring season has shown me they truly are not gone, but resting, waiting, for the right Season when all will be awakened and we will be reunited in God's right timing. The beauty around us is truly amazing. Take time to enjoy what is new and have faith and promise that one day all will be renewed.

Birthday wishes sent to Heaven

It's your first Birthday in Heaven

how happy you must be

your body is now healed and your spirit is free

Present's I send you

will be absent in sight

I miss you Daddy, I miss your delight

Heaven is happy

the party begin's

They celebrate your life

and all that's within

Never forgotten and always

the same, the love from your heart will alway's remain

Today we all think of you

love you

celebrate you

honor you....Alway's

The First Day of Spring.....what does it mean for you?

I haven't written in my blog for a while, unsure why. I don't like writing about just anything, but prefer a certain thought, topic or feeling. The truth is I haven't had much of any. I find myself constantly thinking of Daddy. Flipping through the calender today I was hit with the bold letters on March 20th. It reads " Daddy's Birthday". His Birthday fall's on the first day of Spring when all is suppose to be fresh, new, and beautiful. It doesn't feel that way for me. I am dreading his first Birthday in Heaven. He always loved Birthdays, holiday's, or any day there was a fuss over him with presents. All these " firsts " are hard to endure. His Birthday will be celebrated in a different way this year, but it will be celebrated and remembered. I pray everyday that the "second" and following year's will become easier to handle. People have told me they have vivid dreams of loved ones lost. Why don't I have any? Will I ever? Just a simple dream would at least give me a simple sense of his presence. I miss that so much. I know my Mom, Brother and Sister feel the same pain I do. Although I hate them hurting, it brings me a sense of relief that someone knows what I am feeling, even if in a different way. I will welcome Spring with enthusiasm, enjoying all the beauty it brings both in physical beauty and warmth, but most importantly everlasting memories.

The Miracle of Birth and the Nurses who help get you there.

While at work the other day, helping a first time Mom, I overheard the two new Grandmother's talking about how things have really changed since they had their babies. I listened at how they recalled the day of the week, what the weather was doing, who was there, what room they were in, what time contractions started, and the Nurse who shared the birthing experience with them. It is amazing how women remember EVERYTHING about the day they deliver. These ladies delivered 32 years ago at the old Radford Community Hospital, and could recall every detail. What impressed me most is how they spoke of the Nurse they had that day, and how they remembered her in great detail.

How amazing is it to have a job in which the people you care for remember you after such a great deal of time passing. To be in a store and be approached by a Mom with her child who is now twelve years old asking " Do you remember me and my baby John?" Well Umm, No not really, but this Mom knows you just like it were yesterday. How great is that? You walk away feeling guilty for not remembering, but with a sense of pride that you made a difference in what you did that day.

Babies are gift's from God, and Mother's are the Angel's who catch them. Think about your day of delivery, what stands out in your mind about that day. What Nurse did you have? Did she make a difference?
Do YOU remember? As for myself I remember so much with all three of my deliveries. One that stands out is with my first " Tyler " I remember my Nurse Annette smiling at me as I asked for my Epidural at 9Cm's and being told " Now you know its to late for that ". I of course freaked out, only to be sternly told what to do, how to do it, and when. If not for her guidance I would have not delivered 25 minutes later!

Do you have that one special delivery memory? Lets hear it.

Cake Anyone?

January is full of Birthday's in our family. First my son Logan's on the 10th, Second comes Tyler's on the 14th, Third is Bella's on the 25th, ( yes we celebrate our pet's Birthdays as well ) and last is Mom's on the 30th.

I have always felt it to be challenging to have two boy's with Birthday's four day's apart. I enjoy trying to make it a special day for them. The Cake is a huge factor in making that happen. The Walmart bakery cake is their favorite. Always white cake with white icing, decorated however. Doesn't matter as long as there is plenty of icing. For years that's what they request and have always gotten.

This year was no different, I knew I would be buying two sheet cakes all on the same day. I decided since Tyler was returning to Marshall and wouldn't be home, I would send his with him.

I was thinking at the checkout how much money I had just put out on two cakes, and how much cheaper it would be if I had made them myself. I realized with three teenage boy's they would probably be eaten in one or two sittings, and with Tyler taking his for himself I worried that one wouldn't go far with the other two, plus family that was to come over. I decided enough money had been spent on batter and that we would make due and add some ice cream to fill in the spaces as needed.

As soon as I pulled out of the parking lot I realized I forgot the ice cream and stopped at Food Lion. As I walked in I noticed a display with two of those huge chocolate chip cookies with decorated icing on them. The sign read " Clearance". They were marked down from $8.99 to $2.99. Wow, my boys loved these, I figured they must be out of date to be reduced that much. Nope the date was 4 days ahead. Still thinking there must be a mistake I placed the two giant cookies in the cart, crossed my fingers and went to check out.

As the teenager checked me out she stated " Man that's a deal" $1.50 each. I said " No I think they are $2.99 each". Well she said evidently they are $1.50 for you today. Great how lucky was that, I would have extra sweets if there wasn't enough cake to go around. I paid and as she handed me my change she asked if I wanted the FREE cake or any of the Free pies they had left over from the day. To my amazement I looked to where she pointed and walked over..............There on the table was a Deli WHITE sheet cake with WHITE icing. I took the cake and cookies and went to my car and sat there a minute humored by what had just happened.

How did I go from worrying I wouldn't have enough cake for everyone to having an abundant amount for everyone with extra to spare?

Maybe its luck? I don't believe in luck, I believe in good and bad. I believe in surprise and wonder, I believe in grace and glory. Is it possible to receive a message in a cake? Definitely.

The message that came to me that day was that there is abundance all around us. Just when you think you may be low or short on an item and you find ways to fill in the gap's and spaces with "replacements", there isn't any for celebrations. You must have cake for everyone. That's why I was handed a free one.

God's love is never ending and abundant. There are no replacements of him. There are no empty spaces that can be filled without him. He cannot be replaced with work, alcohol, drugs, anger, depression, loneliness, hatred, selfishness, abuse, or crime. He is the true one who will always make sure we feel full, with no shortages. What abundances do you have in your life? Have you ever felt you were a little short in an area of your life and knew what you needed only to replace it with something to just fill in the gap? If you continue "just filling in the gap" with whatever to get by, eventually the gap collapses and you are left with a hole to try to climb out of. Instead lets strive to replace our gaps and spaces with a solid foundation with the love of God who will never leave us with a shortage if we just BELIEVE.

Dirty Snow

As I was driving today I couldn't help but notice all the Dirty Snow pushed up on the sides of the road. It didn't seem that long ago that it was falling so clean and beautifully. Enjoying the excitement you feel and the eagerness waiting for the snow and wondering how much will accumulate. Now days later its pushed over, hard, dirty, and unappealing.

I hear people complaining they are tired of it, its to cold, and they are ready for Spring to arrive. These were the same people only days before that were talking about the snow coming, getting groceries in, building snowmen, and talking about how pretty the outside winter wonderland looked. After all it was the Holiday season right?

Sure we got the most snow we have had in a decade and the temperature has been frigid for days, that's why we have been blessed with Seasons.

Thinking about all of this, it made me think about our lives and how God gives us days of winter wonderlands, then days of Dirty Snow. Just like the weather we never know what our "weather" will be for the day or how long it will last.

When the weather is bright and sunny we tend to be out and about running errands and keeping busy. It all seems perfect and bright. When we have snow day's, cant shovel our way out, schools are closed and you cant make it to work, and your in your pajamas all day we some how feel unproductive. Maybe this is Gods way of giving us rest and a "change" of pace. It forces you to slow down, spend time with your Family, and just do nothing. Only he knows what we need and when we need it. We are given seasons for a reason.

During this Winter season I will take joy in the wonderland day's and try to understand the message, word, purpose, teaching, and plan God is giving us on the Dirty Snow days.

As I got closer to home and continued looking at the old dirty snow piled high, I also realized at the same time beautiful, clean snow flurries had started to fall.

I know in my heart, in his way God was telling me that even though the old is dirty and unappealing, new shall come and it will be clean and fresh. It will be renewed.

Superbowl Sunday Video

Superbowl Sunday

Super Bowl Sunday.

The year 2009 has been busy with many life changing events for me. We all know we will have them but for some reason I had several at once. When I think of memories of 2009 there are a few that stand out in my mind. The first was the day at Church we celebrated Super Bowl Sunday. The Church was bursting at the seams with excitement for god and what he was doing in the church and in peoples lives. The service was beautiful, and there seemed to be so much energy that day. Games, chili cookoff, you name it. I remember crying as I sat beside my mom and Dad. Periodically looking over to them. Daddy was weak that morning but as he sat there he looked happy, content, and amazed at what was going on around him that day.


I knew he was getting weaker and on some Sunday's he wasnt able to make it. As I sat there i kept wondering how much more time I would have with him. Up until his illness I never had a Church realationship with my daddy. Growing up we attended Church here and there on special occasions without him, and not that often. The only memory I can remember being in a Church with him was at my wedding, and Funerals.


Daddy and Mom soon started attending the Church after i did. They really enjoyed coming and listening to Pastor Ray, listening to the word, and enjoying the music. Each Sunday I prayed that he would walk forward to be saved. He never did, and most Sunday's he would leave just as they did alter call. This Sunday was different. As the service was coming to an end, I felt the great need to take my daddy's hand and ask him if he wanted to go up front. Shaking his head yes my eyes filled with tears as I walked up with him. I remember a flood of past memories filled my mind as we were walking.



Daddy accepted God into his life that day, and as for me I was happy to be with him when he did, and now I had a sense of peace knowing he would forever be in God's arms and comforted.


At the end of the service the Church had giveaways, and were going to draw three names to participate. I couldnt believe it when they drew Dad's, then MINE. He was thrilled to go up and throw the football through the tire. He was so happy that day in so many ways. This is a memory I will be forever grateful for sharing with my Daddy. I have posted the video of that day. It will show his throw that day, and the helmet that he won. We were all winners that day.


This new year's eve 2010 will be more difficult for me then Christmas without my Dad. It seems strange but I almost feel by ending that last special year with him I am closing a door. I know the door to heaven will be open and we will be reunited one day.
I am looking forward to 2010 and what it will bring to my life. I have much to look forward to with my boy's and Charles in my life. I'm not one to make resolutions but prefer to make goals.

Goals can be changed and altered, to me resolutions sound more serious haha.

Some other highlights of this past year for me were......



Having my oldest son Tyler graduate from high School, leave home, and go to college in another state. How I survived it I dont know.

Learning a new way of charting at work with EPIC. Paperless charting was hard to loose, but we did it.

We also lost two special pets Skeeter and Winslow.

We also gained a new pet Louie.

We started our chicken coop.

I started wearing glasses..ugh

I met a new friend frm France

I learned different methods of painting interior walls.

This being said I will leave on a positive note saying I am eager and happy to enter 2010 at the place where I am, but also ready to move in different directions.

The Many Meanings of Charles.................

Origin-
English.....Meaning Strong and Manly.

Other nicknames..Chuck, Charlie

-A Royal name, being borne by ten kings of France as well as by Kings of Hungary, Naples, and Sardinia. It was introduced to great Britain by Mary, Queen of Scots (1542-87) who bestowed it upon her son, Charles James (1566-1625).

It seems this name has followed me since birth in every way. First my Daddy's name was Charles. My sister was also named from him in a feminine version, Charlese. My brother's middle name is Charles, My youngest son is Logan Charles, and the special Man in my life is Charles.

Coincidence? I think not.

I love this name and its meaning. Strong and Manly, my Daddy was the strongest man I knew, always a hard worker, strong willed, strong in his beliefs. Everyone I have mentioned here holds the same definition. It does make you wonder if a persons personality and traits are influenced by the name they are given in some way? Probably not, but in our family it seems to hold true, or maybe from the strong influence of my Dad. He was definitely strong willed, with strong opinions.

I remember when I met Charles and told my parents his name, the reply from my dad was " I like him already, he has a good name". In fact my Dad liked his name so well he named his cat after himself. "Her" name was Charlie. Haha

Hopefully one of my boy's will continue to use this special name with their own children one day, how special that would be.

Maybe you have names that run from generation to generation, if so share them with me.

For some reason I have felt the need to start writing. Maybe as a way of therapy, Maybe for enjoyment, I'm really not sure. I am hoping through writing it will bring a sense of calm and healing for me.

I am a private person, tend to keep things to myself, and try to see the positive in every situation. Sometimes this really isn't the best way. I have pages and pages of words that need to be put to paper, but just am not sure where to start.

I am grieving. Grieving for my Daddy whom I lost to lung Cancer Nov. 15, 2009. This is new to me, I have never lost someone so close to my heart. I know there is a reason for everything that happens and that it is in God's control, but my mind constantly thinks and wonders why.

Why does so much pain and heartache have to come to our lives? Why can't there be a cure? The last few months I have had friends who have loved ones with cancer. I pray for them daily and the pain they go through to ease.

As we draw closer to Christmas my mind is filled with memories from past years and how things USED to be. It seems like yesterday I was hauling three little boys to Mom and Dads to open a ton of gifts with my brother, sister, and the rest of the family being there. I remember Daddy being so excited to open his gifts and see what the Grandkids got. This year is different, there is an empty place that will never be filled. Christmas is no longer at Mom and Dad's, new memories will be made, things will be different.

This year I am leaning on God's word, his plan, and his never ending love for us. I am confident that he will bring our family close and allow our hearts to heal and have peace. I wish everyone a Merry Christmas.